18.10.14

Part Deux: Concluding the Tale of the Magic Ring. For now.

I promised you I'd finish the saga of the Magic Ring, so here we are. Not that the saga is over now, far from it. But where were we? 

Ah yes, some A-hole had bought my ring. MY RING. Fricktards. 

I was seriously bummed when Matt forwarded me that email. I tried to be all c'est la vie about it and act like it was fate, but I was sad. I'll even admit to having a little cry about it in the bathroom at work out of frustration. I know, I know, it's a piece of metal and carbon. 

Matt and I went for a walk at lunch that day (one of the benefits of working together) and I tried to be all cool as a cucumber, but I was grumpy as a...bear? Bears are grumpy, right? 

And that that afternoon I got to thinking - how insensitive of Matt was it just to forward that email to me with no explanation, no "I'm sorry, baby, but the ring is gone"? That made me madder. Then I thought hang on, that's kind of weird. Why would he just forward me that? And the suspicious part of my brain started sounding a little alarm (but a teeny tiny quiet one) and the eternally hopeful part of my brain which likes to fantasise about things like 'maybe I'm pregnant' even when I'm in the throws of some mother-effer period pains said 'maybe he's bought the ring and doesn't want you to know so he's either faked an email from the jeweller or he's roped her in to some elaborate (he thinks) ruse! Maybe he doesn't just want you to see it had sold on the website because then you'll think it was him who'd bought it and you'll know!' But the sensible part of me shut up that part of my brain and admitted defeat. 

For all of five minutes. 

Then I spent about three weeks looking for clues. I was driven out of my mind. He says he dropped hints because he could see it was eating away at me, but I maintain I saw clues with my super-sleuthing abilities. Like the fact he had to go to the bank a couple of days after the email but wouldn't tell me what for. Or when he had to "run an errand" a couple of weeks later that took exactly the amount of time it would take to go to the jewellers, examine and pay for the ring, and get home again. I tried to play him at his own game by suggesting we went to other jewellers to look at rings. He just shrugged and agreed. 

In the end, I caved after a few too many glasses of wine and kept saying "it was you, wasn't it?!" until he admitted it. 

You'd think my crazy would end there. I knew he had the ring, I knew it would one day be mine. Job done, yes? 

No. Not even a little bit. 

The Magic Ring has been in his possession for almost two months now. And those two months have brought with them a lot of frustration on my part. 

Firstly, I wasn't convinced he had actually bought the Magic Ring. I thought maybe it was some horrible joke. In the end he had to show me. But then I knew where he kept it so I kept sneaking looks at it (and trying it on. Just once or twice. Per day.) So I asked him to move it. And now I miss it big time. 

The other thing the last two months have given me is emotions. A helluva lotta them. You see, I transpires that, while he was fine to buy the ring, he isn't ready to propose. And he couldn't see how buying an engagement ring might lead me to believe he was about to pop the question. I think it took us about a month to finally understand each other: he isn't ready. He just bought it because I loved it, and he intends to use it one day. Not now. Not this year. Maybe next year. 

So where does that leave me now? 

+ I'm happy, because I know that somewhere in my house is the most beautiful engagement ring I have ever seen. 
+ I'm sad because, try as I might, I can't comprehend buying someone a ring when you're not going to ask soon. 
+ I'm driving myself mad because I constantly think he's trying to throw me off the scent by saying "next year" and I keep getting my hopes up that he's actually going to do it sooner. Like this last week in Venice. Nope. Not a sausage. 
+ I'm confused, and wondering what I've done wrong to delay things, or what I can do right to get him ready quicker. 
+ I feel stupid, because I thought he was ready, and he wasn't, and dumb because I keep getting my hopes up, despite the fact he consistently says it won't be this year and he's not lying to me. 
+ I feel desperate. That sounds awful saying that. Desperate and hopeless. Because there's nothing I can do, I just have to wait. I'm completely at his mercy on this. 

I know that sounds silly, I really do. I know there are girls out there, some of them my friends, who have been super-patient and are waiting for their men to be ready for the next step, whatever that might be. I know that. 

But that doesn't make me feel less confused by the whole situation. 

So, there you are: the tale of the Magic Ring. 

So far, no happy ending. 

Wow, that was a bummer, wasn't it? 

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