Sh*t my boyfriend says

Matthew's recent musings: 

"It's quite funny having a little person sat in a basket in the corner of the room, isn't it?"
About baby Kit sleeping in his car seat. Not in a basket. 

Me: We should make a list of all the stuff we want to do before they baby's born. 
Matt: Yeah, a bucket list. 
Me: We're not dying, we're having a baby. 
Matt: You say potato... 

Me: What's your favourite song?
Matt: I like lots of songs from lots of different geneers (pronounced like veneer) 
Me: Sorry, what? 
Matt: I like lots of songs from lots of different geneers. 
Me: Baby, it's pronounced genre 
Matt: Are you sure? 
Me: Yes. 

Upon waking the other morning: 
Matt: What's the time, woman? 
Me: Let's try that again, shall we? 

"It says here that pesticides on fruit and vegetables can cause male fertility problems... I blame the Farmers Market for you getting pregnant." 

"I bought a lottery ticket for tomorrow night. I figured if we're ever gonna win it, it'll be this week." 

Me: I had a really great dream last night. I was riding my bike and it had a puncture and this amazing man helped me fix it and we fell in love but then he died. 
Matt: Well it's a good job you've still got me then. 

For much funnier things that someone else's boyfriend said, go here

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