My current nightmare

In my '29 things’ post, I mentioned how much I like to declutter. I REALLY like to declutter. One day I’ll write a preachy post on how to do it right, perhaps complete with smug photos of my newly decluttered, decorated and fabulous abode. But that’s not going to happen right now. 

Right now I feel like a hypocrite saying I love to declutter. Have you seen my flat? No? Here are some poorly-lit iphone photos to give you a little flavour of how things are looking around here right now: 

There is currently a food waste bin living in our bathroom.

Our hob almost permanently looks like this: 

We are constantly dealing with a mountain of washing up. I feel like ALL I DO is wash up, and it never goes away. Please, please God let us get into the new house soon so I can have a dishwasher and my life will be complete. 

Our dining table always looks like this: 

Yes, those are socks on the table. They may or may not be clean – I’m going with not. Matt has a habit of leaving his socks everywhere. Right after this photo I found another pair discarded on the floor. A few weeks back  I counted four pairs just on the living room floor. Of course, I am not blameless in all of this. 99% of the rest of the junk in that photo is mine. 

Then we come to the flat’s biggest problem right now – the spare bedroom. This has been a problem since we first moved in, because we already have some of our own furniture, but this came as a furnished flat, and the landlord refused to remove any furniture. Now, when I’ve lived in furnished places before, that usually means bed, sofa, table…the necessities. Not here. Nope. In this flat it means GIANT hideous pine everything – including a mahussive solid pine magazine rack (who keeps magazines?), the world’s largest coffee table, three bedside tables, a CD rack (hello, 1997!) and a whole host of assorted junk like lamps, TWO laundry baskets and many, many other things that are surplus to requirements. 

Our solution? Throw it all in the spare room! 

But now we have the added complication of a soon-to-arrive third member of our little family. And all her stuff is slowly being added to the Spare Bedroom of Doom. Would you like a little tour? Of course you would. Let’s start with the view from the door: 

Front-to-back there are packing boxes and bubble wrap, patiently awaiting the day when we exchange on our house and can finally start boxing up some of our stuff, a clothes airer, my/the baby’s Boppy pillow, a chest (barely visible under junk) full of baby things like toys and blankets and maternity pads and nightlights. On top of the chest there is a 5% packed hospital bag, a pile of clothes I need to sort and wash to take to hospital for the baby, the baby monitor, changing mat and bath seat. Peeking out behind that pile we have a ride-on caterpillar that she won’t need for approximately 15 months, and one of the aforementioned never-used-but-have-to-keep-it-as-it-belongs-to-the-landlord laundry baskets. Oh, and more packing boxes. 

Let’s take a glance to the left while we’re here: 

Believe it or not, that’s a bed under there. Pine, of course. Can you tell why I’m putting off guests coming to stay until after we move? In front of the bed there are MORE packing boxes, then on it there is a half-packed changing bag, a basket of ironing I will never get around to doing, two packed boxes with baby clothes bigger than 3 months and things like new bed linen we’re saving for the new house, the baby’s moses basket, my yoga mat, a bag of maternity clothes I need to return to my boss, and a pile of clothing in various states ranging from ‘so dirty it should have been washed days ago’ to ‘clean but needs ironing/putting away’. Which, let’s face it, renders the entire pile the former. A quick glance around the bed (if you can bear it) reveals a bike (haven’t ridden that since last September), the hoover, a rug I need to get rid of, the moses basket stand and you can just see the edge of the box containing the baby bouncer. Not pictured to the left of that is ALL the pine furniture we’ve piled up that we don’t use. Before you run off to vomit, do make sure you admire those gorgeous 90s cheapo curtains that block out approximately zero light, won’t you? 

As a comparator, let’s take a look at the flat I used to live in when I lived alone: 

Nary a cushion out of place. Can you see how this is a massive stress-inducing headache for a clutter-hater like me? 

I’m in need, folks. WHAT do I do? I’ve got rid of as much as I possibly can (with the exception of the rug, which will go soon!), I can’t throw out the landlord’s stuff (but boy, I wish I could) or the baby’s as we need it. All our (very limited) storage is full, and I can’t afford/don’t have a car to transport things to an actual storage unit. But I cannot live like this. We haven’t even picked up the pram or car seat yet! 

I need tips, urgently. HELP! 

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