1.10.15

Five things to attempt to induce labour naturally (which don't work at all)

have less than 24 hours until this baby gets evicted and I am trying everything to get her out beforehand so I can avoid the delights of the fanny hook (yes, I'm sure that's the technical term for the implement used to rupture your membranes) and the cannula and syntocinon drip. Sadly, none of them have worked. 

Walking. A LOT of walking. I've walked up hills, down hills, gone for short bursts, three hour long wanders and power walks. The thought "I could jog the last half mile home!" entered my 38+5 week pregnant brain yesterday, and that's when I knew the crazy had got me. 

Bouncing on my birth ball. Ok, it's just a regular fitness ball. Maybe that's where I've gone wrong? I've tried bouncing slowly, fast, deep, shallow and doing clockwise circles, which are apparently good for...something baby-related. Sometimes I combine the bouncing with another induction-attempt method, such as...

...Raspberry Leaf Tea. This one isn't supposed to bring on labour, but it is supposed to strengthen your uterus and can induce Braxton Hicks contractions. Which it did for me, until about two days ago, and now it has zero effect. 

Sex. Recommended by my colleague, who swore it got her labour started. I think it was more the case that she was already overdue and, guess what, coincidences happen. You know things are bad when you ask for sex, your partner asks "you're just doing this for the prostaglandin, aren't you?", and you unashamedly answer in the affirmative. This may have had some effect, as I did dilate a couple of centimetres between 37 and 38 weeks, but that could have been down to anything or nothing that I did. 

Sweeps. I've had two. The first was less than pleasant - I'd bought into the lies the Internet had told me that it would be "a bit more uncomfortable than a smear" and then I'd get some period pain. No, no and no. Maybe that's what it feels like when you're already 5cm dilated and your cervix is nice and soft and ripe, but that was not what it felt like at 1cm. No. It felt like what it was, a doctor shoving her fingers into my pretty closed cervix and rummaging around. I made dying animal noises, which was super embarrassing as there were two hot young male medical students just the other side of the flimsy blue curtain. #awks. Thankfully the second one was much better - she could get me to 3-4cm and I managed to get through it on heavy breathing (a relief for everyone in the waiting room outside, I'm sure). But it hasn't actually done anything, other than help me lose a load of gross plug. 

I've now completely resigned myself to an induction, though hopefully one without the gel stage after Tuesday's sweep, unless a miracle happens overnight and my waters spontaneously break in a flood of mattress-ruining glory. Which I totally wouldn't mind right now. It would SO be worth it. 

Watch this space. 

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