I've been meaning for months to bore you with an excruciatingly painful minute-by-minute account of my boring life, so here you are! You're so totally welcome. And, yes, I drafted this over two weeks ago. So sue me. 

00.30 Annika wakes up and feeds
02.30 Annika wakes up and feeds. Again. I get her back to sleep, having to restrain her hands so she'll stop scratching her head and waking herself up. 
04.40 Annika wakes up and feeds, mistakenly thinking she's a newborn. You're not, Little A; time you did some more sleeping. I make the mistake of looking at my phone for some blog reading. 
05.15 I'm still awake, and force myself to put down the phone and go to sleep 
06.20 Annika wakes up and feeds. Seriously?! 
06.30 Annika goes to sleep just in time for Matt to come in asking where his shoes are. I shush him loudly and ask him if he's looked under the bed. He hasn't, he does, they're there. 
06.45 Matt comes in again, asking where his travel card is. I shush him loudly again, and tell him it's on the floor in Annika's room, where he left it. 
06.46 I close my eyes for some sleep, knowing I'll be breaking the rule we learned at the sleep workshop last week to make sure Annika's awake by 7am 
08.28 I wake up to Annika's new favourite habit of trying out different sound effects with her voice. This morning it's a creepy, breathy sound, punctuated by grunts and accompanying loud farts. Contemplate sacking off everything I had planned for today (not much) and scale back my plans for world domination/baby-entertainment, before remembering that a day at home will result in nap-fighting for Annika and 4pm wine-craving for me. 
09.37 Annika falls back to sleep so I take the opportunity to race through my morning chores - shower, dress, unload dishwasher, laundry into tumble dryer, put on another load of laundry, have breakfast 
10.10 Annika wakes up so I hastily gulp down the last of my porridge and go get her up and dressed 
10.28 take a gratuitous Instagram shot/waste some precious time

Preach, Baby Girl. 

10.30 realise the only way we'll make Baby Bounce & Rhyme is if I forego any sort of make up application or hair brushing. 
10.31 Decide my daughter is probably more important than mascara and shove her into the pram and out the door 
11am Baby Bounce and Rhyme at the library. Annika looks super bored and spends the session sucking her fingers. 
11.35 Annika falls asleep on the way home, ahead of the nap schedule I'm trying to get her in. This doesn't bode well for the rest of the day. 
11.57 arrive home, open mail 
11.59 Annika wakes up. Nappy change, feed, burp, she doesn't seem sleepy so we head downstairs where I microwave and eat lunch and put the clean laundry in the dryer while Annika plays on her playmat. 
12.50 I try to feed Annika and put her down for a nap while I package up a few bits I've sold on eBay to post. 
13.40 it's obvious she's not going to nap without the aid of the pram so we head into town to run errands. We hit up the Post office to post the eBay packages, H&M to exchange a faulty dress (and where I accidentally buy a cardigan/jacket) and Boots for baby supplies 
15.45 decide to ambitiously attempt to squeeze in a trip to Tesco before Annika needs feeding
15.55 do a U-turn on the supermarket decision as Annika has that hungry/crazy look in her eyes 
15.59 home, feed, burp, nappy change, play, interspersed with me attempting to tidy our bomb-site of a house 
16.50 send Matt my daily "when are you home?" text and hope the answer is "I'm right outside the front door!". It never is. 
17.30 feed Annika again, and try to stop her feeding to sleep. Fail, and let her nap on me for 15 minutes. 
17.45 Annika wakes so I juggle baby with bath-running, in an attempt to get the sleep schedule back on track. I've become accomplished at standing on one leg and using the other foot to turn on the bath taps.
17.48 grab bath supplies (clean towel, vest and sleepsuit, eczema cream, fresh nappy and changing mat) and head to the bathroom 
17.50 bathtime! 
18.15 Annika is bathed, dressed for bed and I feed her in her room. 
18.35 she falls asleep so I rouse her briefly to half-heartedly burp her and pop her in the cot. Ten minutes of singing 'soothing' songs, shushing and hair-stroking means my pampered princess finally drops off. 
18.50 I head downstairs to fold the dry laundry as Matt comes home. We enjoy a full twenty-five minutes of grown-up conversation and I manage to get in the bath and have a swig of wine before... 
19.15 Annika wakes up crying as she's realised her mama is not in the right place (next to her). This does not make her happy. 
19.21 attempts at soothing her via the intercom and lullabies facilities on the baby monitor fail, so Matt heads upstairs to try a more hands-on approach. 
19.24 Matt and Annika join me in the bathroom so Annika can see that I've not utilised her sleeping time to make a bolt for the hills. Matt defies the male stereotype and multi-tasks watching Annika and making dinner 
20.00 I drag myself out of the bath and take Annika from Matt. We eat while Annika lies on her playmat, happy now she's back with mama and daddy. At some point I feed her but she refuses after about three minutes. We watch tv and take turns cuddling/entertaining Annika until she starts to look grumpy. 
21.45 Annika's increasingly loud squawks mean tv-watching is no longer possible so Matt takes her upstairs for a nappy change and putting into her 'baby bag' (sleep sack) while I brush my teeth and wash my face. 
22.00 bedtime (far too late for a baby), Annika feeds to sleep lying next to me and I just CBA to move her. Besides, I like having her next to me while she's still tiny and needs me. There'll be plenty of time for her to run away from me when she's mobile. 
22.45 Matt retires to the spare room, I fight the urge to waste precious sleep time on the Internet and fall asleep... 

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